I am in that stage in life where I take almost everything with a pinch of salt. Days are gone when I believed I could get everything at the snap of a finger. That stage of immense naivety is way behind me for a range of reasons. Maybe it’s me growing up, maybe it’s my release from the warm embrace of family and my rush to taste the bitter sweet that the world is, maybe it’s my realization that things are more complicated than the way they appear at face value…
The other day I was in a certain meeting. Being midday, the stomach was growling demanding for kibandasky things but being a faithful servant, I stayed on listening to the presentations being done by a corporate friend of mine. In the meeting we were 7, 5 guys and 2 ladies. The presentation was about the Post 2015 development goals otherwise being referred to as the SDGs which were meant to take over from the MDGs or better still compliment them.
The guy was trying to explain to the moneymen in the room how the goals should set precedence over all our development ventures with a keen focus on the environment, from the understanding that it formed the bedrock of all that nature harbors. I was bored so I started to sweep across the room inspecting the scarce female presence. There was this lady sitting next to me; definitely in her late twenties. She had rings on her wedding finger – you know those rings that are meant to scare away jokers… They were three and she kept fiddling with her phone. If she wasn’t checking her whatsapp messages, she was scrolling through her facebook profile.
She had those ice breaking body types that God took some time on; a confidence stature, expensive heels not those cheap mia something excuses of shoes Nairobi women buy off the streets. The handbag was shiny black and from my nonexistent info on these things, it didn’t appear cheap either. She seemed to have all her shit figured out. She had a masters degree in planning so she had the brains too. Once in a while she commented on the presentation and from her deep mastery of the Queen’s language, I could tell she didn’t take the overrated 8-4-4 system.
She walked in Beauty, like the night,
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that’s best of dark and bright,
Met in her aspect and her eyes,
Thus mellowed to that tender light,
Which haven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the shameless grace,
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens over her face,
Where thoughts serenely sweet expressed,
How pure, how dear was their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and over that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that won, the tints that glowed,
But told of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose passion was innocent…
What could be bothering this well-endowed creature of awesomeness? I kept asking myself as the presentation went on. Could it be the teachers’ issue? Most probably not. Could it be the malignant corruption that characterized our governance structures? Could it be that she was feeling sorry for Waiguru after what Muthama said? I didn’t know for sure; but something was festering her. “I wouldn’t mind giving her a shoulder or any other body part to cry on…” I remember thinking…
But then I started analyzing what chances I actually had of realizing that. For one, the nigga giving the presentation had throughout had his eyes on her. He was driving an Audi. To make matters worse, the guy had given her a ride to the meeting venue from the office. How could I achieve anything with the bar set soo high? Hehe… Everyone present in the room didn’t struggle with queues at Nairobi bus stops. They never had altercations with condas over that 10 bob hike in fares, they never struggled to fit in matatu seats with oversized Kenyans, they never struggled with loud music after hectic days in the office… Although they too had their struggles, theirs were just a drop in the ocean compared to mine.
From that and so many other factors key among them being I was in the category of “struggling Kenyans” I realized I had no chance whatsoever. My dreams were not only invalid – they were hallucinations too…