From the comfort of my car I watched as she opened her front balcony door to come and say hi. Her eyes looked distant and dark. As she walked towards me, she used her hand to shield her face from the hot, January, afternoon sun that was too hot for her soft features. During this time of the year, the heat waves had prevailed over every other weather condition, cool breeze had already given up and those that didn’t have air conditioning had an earlier encounter with hell.
As I sat in my air conditioned 2009 Cadillac CTS-V, I watched Sydney as she briskly walked over. Her freshly washed, wavy, natural ebony hair looked uncombed but soft. As the dry wind blew I could see the moisture evaporate from its surface. Her flowery sundress accentuated the right curves although she put no effort to put them out there for all to see. She looked distant and lost in the heat. Her skin seemed to burn and her cheeks were flushed.
I felt sorry for her but I was overcome by the effect she always had on me.
This is the last place I needed to be but here I was; pulling a soft spoken lady from the comfort of her air conditioned house into an unforgiving afternoon sun. I hated the feelings she churned inside me but I was addicted to her presence and most of all her laughter. She had the ability to pull me from the arms of my loving wife just by the promise of a kiss on the forehead.
I hated her guts. I hated her beauty. I hated her confidence. I hated her beautiful laughter. I hated the way her soft arms held onto my neck every time she said goodbye. But here I was, waiting for her on her front porch.
As she walked over to the passenger side of the car, the wind blew away my confidence and I was overwhelmed by her presence. I opened the door and she got in.
Sitting down, her eyes seemed to focus on an object of amazement beyond the horizon. They never at any one time bothered to look at me. I watched on as her facial expressions changed with every passing moment. She pulled her dress up by the side hems and placed it between her slightly parted thighs just above the knee.
As she sat there, the temperature inside the car seemed to increase by several degrees. I felt as if I was on pins and needles. I was anxious and nervous. Excited and sweaty. Dreamy, drifting between desire and dreams but pulled back by the reality and the intoxication of her presence.
“What are you doing here?”
Her tone was accusatory with an edge of pain and regret. Obviously she was accusing me of a feat that I had no knowledge of whatsoever. With that utterance, I regretted showing up spontaneously. If only my desires had taken me elsewhere. She was disinterested in my presence and I really doubted she would care about what I had to say.
I don’t know what I am doing here.
That confession seemed to soften her stance. She looked towards me in those dark eyes that seemed to penetrate to the darkest depths of my soul. She was smiling; although the smile wasn’t completely visible. I knew she enjoyed torturing me with her presence and her looks. She knew I was most vulnerable with her around and she enjoyed that fact.
She had me at the palm of her hands and she liked it.
She stretched out her left hand and touched my cheek. Tilting her head to her left, she laid back and brushed her palm on my smooth shaven right cheek. I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the moment but I was afraid that on opening them she would be gone.
I was that hypnotized and I hated myself for being that vulnerable. She was in control and I loathed that reality. My lips ached to kiss hers.
The very first time she kissed me my brain went blank and the warmth spread throughout my entire body. After that I was addicted. Those kisses were my salvation and my torment. I lived for them and I would die with the memory of them on my lips. I dedicated my life to being with her from the moment of that first kiss, for I knew that if I lost her I would lose myself. She was the half that made me whole.
As she sat there, her long beautiful legs on display for my devouring, the urge to taste those lips was overwhelming. I wanted to swallow her sweetness, be consumed by the fires of her passion. I wanted to taste the oxygen in her blood, the enzymes that lit her up like a Christmas tree.
The desire was lighting me up. Unexpectedly, I yanked her to me and covered her mouth with mine in a hungry kiss. As our lips crushed together, I felt like alive. Her mouth was so warm, the caress of her lips softer than I could have imagined and she opened my mouth with a low moan. The kiss obliterated every thought. Like every other time my lips met hers, my mind was locked into the present. The worries of the day evaporated like a summer shower onto a hot car. My usual mode of hurrying from one thing to the next was suspended; I had no wish for the kiss to end.
Drunk on endorphins my only desire was to touch her, to move my hands under her smooth summer layers and feel her perfect softness. In moments the soft caress became more firm, I savored her lips and the quickening of her breath that matched my own. A kiss like this was a beginning, a promise of much more to come…
I could feel her faint attempts at pushing me away but the quickening breath, the hardening of her breasts gave away her desires… She wanted to land but flying was all her body and features demanded for and I had every intention of giving it to her the way she liked it…